Tall Tales and Progressives in Action

There is a tradition in the sea service that makes it clear a fairy tale begins with "Once upon a time…" and a sea story begins with "This is a no-shitter," or "This ain't no shit…" Sailors are renowned for their sea stories! So, this is a no-shitter, dude:

I have a family of nine, my wife, myself, and 7 kids. I have a small arsenal because I believe I should be able to not only defend myself (and family), but also those who are unable to defend themselves. Comes a day and my family gets to defend our neighbors. They were attacked by a group of four gangbangers, and my eldest heard the first shot. I armed myself, my wife, and three of my children. My three eldest and I went to our neighbor's aid. During the fracas, two of my children were killed, my neighbor's wife was killed and two of his children injured, and we killed two of the attackers and subdued the other two for the authorities.

In keeping with a democrat's notion of "restorative justice," adjudication fell out in the following manner:

• The two surviving gangbangers were released on their own recognizance, but ultimately, both were put on probation. However, they filed a civil suit against my family for damages and suffering. We had to pay to rehabilitate the offenders.
  
• My neighbor's injuries were taken care of by their own insurance and a reparations fund from the county.
  
• My family, after paying for the rehab of the offenders, lost a substantial portion of our life savings. Additionally, 75 years later, my family was required to pay compensation to my surviving neighbors and their descendants for the crimes of the gangbangers.
  

Sounds like a tall tale? Sound like a sea story? Sounds like one of those infamous no-shitters? Sort of, kind of, well not exactly. Nope. Hat tip to Michelle Malkin for the link to Gateway Pundit's stellar info on the "Dems Offering Reparations to Guam For Japanese War Crimes." Please take the time to read it – follow the links, and check out the cost. If it doesn't stir your blood, then you need an abdopleximy. What's that? An abdopleximy is a special surgery that installs a piece of Plexiglas into your abdomen so you can see where in the world you're going with your head so far up your ass. I'm only marginally contrite for the off-color language… it seemed, somehow aproposJ!